RAK - Random Act of Kindness
Last night I was in Deep Ellum with a friend going to a concert. We stopped at a 7-11 on the corner of Main Street. As we walked into the store, there was a man sitting outside of the store. He was so dirty I could barely see the features of his face. His clothes were old and torn, he smelt like a dumpster and you could see the bones in his arms. It bothered me...a lot. He didn't ask for anything as we walked by. He didn't have a sign asking for money, but he looked empty. There was just an empty gaze on his face.
So instead of getting my Red Bull, I got him a delicious piece of 7-11 pizza and the largest bottle of water they had. I don't have a lot of money or I would have totally done more. My child has literally drained my bank account. I have considered selling him on eBay several times, but he is way too cute and he likes my cooking. Anyway, I came out of the store, walked up to the man and said the first thing that came into my head "Hey dude...here you go" (yea I know, I have a way with words). He took both from me but didn't make eye contact. I think he said thank you, but I couldn't tell. As I walked off, we looked back and saw him inhaling the pizza. That made my day. It really made my day. Knowing that he had food in his stomach and cold water to drink as he sits outside in the 101 degree weather all night made me feel good.
I read on a friend's FaceBook post a week ago that she told a lady she was beautiful and the lady started crying. Wow. Imagine impacting someone that much by a simple statement. That's awesome!
When was the last time you did a random act of kindness? When was the last time you did something for someone else that seemed minor to you, but made an impact on them and showed them that you care? Try doing a random act of kindness this week. *I have some laundry that needs to be folded if any of you reading this want to be kind to me :)
~Trigz
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The Power of a Positive Attitude
...(wow- I haven't written in several months. My bad).
Ever had one of those days where you wake up, literally look in the mirror at yourself and say, "Today is gonna be good"? Well, I did that today. And it worked. I know it sounds stupid, but hear me out on this.
Last week was a bit rough for me. I had a few situations come up in both my work and personal life and for some reason, I couldn't shake it. I kept thinking about it. Thinking about all the negative possibilities. And it seemed like things kept getting worse. My negative attitude had taken over and suddenly, everything was heading south.
So Saturday, I decided to drop all the negative thoughts and feelings I had, and just completely pretend like everything was perfect. Surprisingly, my day went really well. Then today (Sunday), I woke up early, kissed my son as he was sleeping, made some coffee and decided today was going to be a good day. Better than yesterday. I even told myself in the mirror as I was blow drying my hair. Yes, I sometimes talk to myself. Don't judge me.
Today was an awesome day. From saying good morning to everyone I saw at the grocery store, to breakfast with a good friend and her crazy kids, to dinner at a close friend's house as we sat in the front yard sweating to death in the lovely Texas summer heat laughing about memories and stories...today was good. And I'm pretty sure it was because I chose it to be.
For those of you that have read the book The Secret, I'm a true believer in the Law of Attraction. I don't necessarily follow it all the time, but I should. For those of you who haven't read the book (1) - You should read it and (2) - The Law of Attraction states: "like attracts like", that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative physical results, respectively. Makes a lot of sense right? Positive thoughts attract positive outcome. Negative thoughts attract negative outcome.
Finally, the old cliche is right - You are the company that you keep. Most people tend to act like the people they surround themselves with. I have weeded a lot of people out of my life over the years. Some very abruptly and unexpectedly. Some had been friends of mine for over 15-20 years. But it all boiled down to one thing - are they a positive influence in my life? Does this person contribute to a progressive move or a regressive movement in my life? As my friend Stacy once told me, "If you can't think of one thing that a person contributes to your life, why are they your "friend?" Think about that. It took me a while at first, but it makes sense. I was truly blessed within the last year. An awesome person with the most positive attitude I have ever met was brought into my life. And even though I don't get to see his smile everyday, I can hear it over the phone. His smile is contagious and it makes me smile and it turns my day around instantly. So surround yourself with positive people. Their energy and positivity will influence your attitude daily. And every day you spend in a negative or bad mood, is a day wasted that you don't get back.
Tomorrow may be Monday, and according to 85% of the FaceBook statuses I read, it is legendary on sucking big time. But YOU can make tomorrow a good day. And all the days after...
Ever had one of those days where you wake up, literally look in the mirror at yourself and say, "Today is gonna be good"? Well, I did that today. And it worked. I know it sounds stupid, but hear me out on this.
Last week was a bit rough for me. I had a few situations come up in both my work and personal life and for some reason, I couldn't shake it. I kept thinking about it. Thinking about all the negative possibilities. And it seemed like things kept getting worse. My negative attitude had taken over and suddenly, everything was heading south.
So Saturday, I decided to drop all the negative thoughts and feelings I had, and just completely pretend like everything was perfect. Surprisingly, my day went really well. Then today (Sunday), I woke up early, kissed my son as he was sleeping, made some coffee and decided today was going to be a good day. Better than yesterday. I even told myself in the mirror as I was blow drying my hair. Yes, I sometimes talk to myself. Don't judge me.
Today was an awesome day. From saying good morning to everyone I saw at the grocery store, to breakfast with a good friend and her crazy kids, to dinner at a close friend's house as we sat in the front yard sweating to death in the lovely Texas summer heat laughing about memories and stories...today was good. And I'm pretty sure it was because I chose it to be.
For those of you that have read the book The Secret, I'm a true believer in the Law of Attraction. I don't necessarily follow it all the time, but I should. For those of you who haven't read the book (1) - You should read it and (2) - The Law of Attraction states: "like attracts like", that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative physical results, respectively. Makes a lot of sense right? Positive thoughts attract positive outcome. Negative thoughts attract negative outcome.
Finally, the old cliche is right - You are the company that you keep. Most people tend to act like the people they surround themselves with. I have weeded a lot of people out of my life over the years. Some very abruptly and unexpectedly. Some had been friends of mine for over 15-20 years. But it all boiled down to one thing - are they a positive influence in my life? Does this person contribute to a progressive move or a regressive movement in my life? As my friend Stacy once told me, "If you can't think of one thing that a person contributes to your life, why are they your "friend?" Think about that. It took me a while at first, but it makes sense. I was truly blessed within the last year. An awesome person with the most positive attitude I have ever met was brought into my life. And even though I don't get to see his smile everyday, I can hear it over the phone. His smile is contagious and it makes me smile and it turns my day around instantly. So surround yourself with positive people. Their energy and positivity will influence your attitude daily. And every day you spend in a negative or bad mood, is a day wasted that you don't get back.
Tomorrow may be Monday, and according to 85% of the FaceBook statuses I read, it is legendary on sucking big time. But YOU can make tomorrow a good day. And all the days after...
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Plan
Are there days where you just kinda reflect on your life, where you are, what you've accomplished and said - "This is not where I thought I would be." I think I've had this conversation with a good friend of mine several times. Did you have it all planned out in high school like I did- the cool career, the sports car, the huge house, the loving spouse, a few kids, a dog, fun family vacations, etc? Does anyone ever actually live out the plan they made for themselves when they were a teenager?
Well, I didn't. I'm no where close to where I thought I would be. I'm 34. I've never been married. I'm not a huge corporate executive at a top 10 magazine or ad agency. I don't live on the coast and I drive an Altima. So, what have I accomplished? Well, let's see...
I'm a parent-
I am a single 34 year old mom who has raised an amazing young man. I wasn't planning on ever even having a child, but I did and he saved me....he saved me from a life that some may actually see as enjoyable. Going out and partying, living it up, drinking, traveling often...yea, that's great, but it leaves you empty. The buzz wears off, you come home after an amazing trip...and then what? I did my time at the clubs, the bars, going out 4 nights a week, wild and spontaneous trips. It was fun...don't get me wrong. It still is every now and again. But accomplishment will always triumph fun for me. I can't say that there was ever a time where I look back and say I wish I had that life again. Raising a child could be one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences ever and I was blessed with the opportunity. I am responsible for another person's life. I get to see him learn something new everyday. I have the power to make him everything he is capable of.
I have a career that suits me-
When I was in high school, I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then, I wanted to be an editor for a magazine. Then I wanted to be an actor on SNL. During one semester in college, I decided I wanted to be a computer programmer...pssshhhh. But now, I have a career that allows me to do what I love the most. Ten years of HR was a beating, but my boss saw something in me that I didn't and is taking a chance on me. And for that, I am truly thankful. Finding a boss that believes in you is not an easy task. I have found my niche and a company that believes in giving back to the community, just like I do. No complaints in the job department...although I could use a raise - cough cough.
Never been married-
Some may look at this as a bad thing. I don't. I see it as a perk for me. I didn't rush into a marriage for the wrong reasons. I was with my son's father for 7 years. Never married him. Never wanted to. Do I want to get married? Sure. If I don't, no big deal. Marriage isn't a mandatory "to-do" for having a happy life.
As far as the sports car, the big house and living on the coast...that's not a big deal to me anymore. I'm only 34. I got a LOT of living to do. But as far as not "living out my plan," I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad that I was guided in this direction, for my child, for the people that have come into my life, and to have another day to do the complete opposite of what I planned. So if you're not living the life you planned, take a minute and reflect on all the things you have accomplished, embrace what you've done...and what you can do. Plan B may not be so bad.
Well, I didn't. I'm no where close to where I thought I would be. I'm 34. I've never been married. I'm not a huge corporate executive at a top 10 magazine or ad agency. I don't live on the coast and I drive an Altima. So, what have I accomplished? Well, let's see...
I'm a parent-
I am a single 34 year old mom who has raised an amazing young man. I wasn't planning on ever even having a child, but I did and he saved me....he saved me from a life that some may actually see as enjoyable. Going out and partying, living it up, drinking, traveling often...yea, that's great, but it leaves you empty. The buzz wears off, you come home after an amazing trip...and then what? I did my time at the clubs, the bars, going out 4 nights a week, wild and spontaneous trips. It was fun...don't get me wrong. It still is every now and again. But accomplishment will always triumph fun for me. I can't say that there was ever a time where I look back and say I wish I had that life again. Raising a child could be one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences ever and I was blessed with the opportunity. I am responsible for another person's life. I get to see him learn something new everyday. I have the power to make him everything he is capable of.
I have a career that suits me-
When I was in high school, I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then, I wanted to be an editor for a magazine. Then I wanted to be an actor on SNL. During one semester in college, I decided I wanted to be a computer programmer...pssshhhh. But now, I have a career that allows me to do what I love the most. Ten years of HR was a beating, but my boss saw something in me that I didn't and is taking a chance on me. And for that, I am truly thankful. Finding a boss that believes in you is not an easy task. I have found my niche and a company that believes in giving back to the community, just like I do. No complaints in the job department...although I could use a raise - cough cough.
Never been married-
Some may look at this as a bad thing. I don't. I see it as a perk for me. I didn't rush into a marriage for the wrong reasons. I was with my son's father for 7 years. Never married him. Never wanted to. Do I want to get married? Sure. If I don't, no big deal. Marriage isn't a mandatory "to-do" for having a happy life.
As far as the sports car, the big house and living on the coast...that's not a big deal to me anymore. I'm only 34. I got a LOT of living to do. But as far as not "living out my plan," I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad that I was guided in this direction, for my child, for the people that have come into my life, and to have another day to do the complete opposite of what I planned. So if you're not living the life you planned, take a minute and reflect on all the things you have accomplished, embrace what you've done...and what you can do. Plan B may not be so bad.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
2010....2011
When I get on facebook and I see all the people posting - "So glad this year is over" or "Hoping next year is better than this year was," all I can do is shake my head. It's the same every year. Does everyone really have a BAD year every year or is that the only thing they focus on? Newsflash - December 31, 2010 will be the same as January 1, 2011 if you're attitude is still the same.
So why does the bad stuff shadow out all the good come December 31st? It's a shame no one reflects on any of the good things that happened to them...or maybe they didn't realize it was a good thing. Maybe the good things that happened to us aren't as impacting as the bad. Maybe its time to change that.
I can't think of anything SUPER awesome that happened to me, but some of the good things in 2010 for me were- I kept my job and had a consistent paycheck to pay my bills, my child was healthy besides a few colds here and there, my parents and siblings are alive and are still annoying and as entertaining as ever, I became involved in charity work that allowed me to do things I want to do full time but can't, I met a lot of new people that are now a part of my life - some have actually changed it for the better, and I lost 15 pounds - yay me!
So if all you can do is look back on all the bad, try looking back on all the good. You may have lost a friend or family member this year, you may have lost your job, you may have endured a broken heart...but the bottom line is - You're here, right now, today. And there's a reason why you are here. I can't tell you that reason, but why not try to figure it out yourself? And if you're one of those people that makes resolutions, here's a good one for you- do something you've never done before. That's mine...and will be mine every year till I kick the bucket.
My "new year's wish" to all of you is that I hope each of you do something you've never done before within the next 12 months... and to have a positive attitude along the way.
So why does the bad stuff shadow out all the good come December 31st? It's a shame no one reflects on any of the good things that happened to them...or maybe they didn't realize it was a good thing. Maybe the good things that happened to us aren't as impacting as the bad. Maybe its time to change that.
I can't think of anything SUPER awesome that happened to me, but some of the good things in 2010 for me were- I kept my job and had a consistent paycheck to pay my bills, my child was healthy besides a few colds here and there, my parents and siblings are alive and are still annoying and as entertaining as ever, I became involved in charity work that allowed me to do things I want to do full time but can't, I met a lot of new people that are now a part of my life - some have actually changed it for the better, and I lost 15 pounds - yay me!
So if all you can do is look back on all the bad, try looking back on all the good. You may have lost a friend or family member this year, you may have lost your job, you may have endured a broken heart...but the bottom line is - You're here, right now, today. And there's a reason why you are here. I can't tell you that reason, but why not try to figure it out yourself? And if you're one of those people that makes resolutions, here's a good one for you- do something you've never done before. That's mine...and will be mine every year till I kick the bucket.
My "new year's wish" to all of you is that I hope each of you do something you've never done before within the next 12 months... and to have a positive attitude along the way.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Reasons
Whenever something bad happens, we all search for reasons. Reasons why it didn't work out the way we wanted it to, what we may have done wrong, what we could have done right. I think I have said a thousand times, "If I could just go back in time, I would have..."
But what if we have to go through these things in order to grow? What if all of these situations that seem to "only happen to us" happen to everyone at some point in their lives? Think about it for a second...How would you know what happiness is if you've never experienced sadness? How would you know what pleasure is without knowing pain, closeness without loneliness, and true love without ever knowing the pain of a broken heart?
I've met a vet that served our country for 25 years who is now homeless on the streets of Dallas, I've been dumped by a guy who I was head over heels in love with via text message, I've seen an 8 year old child die of liver cancer suddenly, and I once had a friend who did something so unthinkable to me, that it almost ruined my life. Why did these things happen to me...to these people? Is it karma? Did I/they break a chain letter? Nope. It's just called life.
One of my favorite pastors, Stephen Furtick once said, "Self-pity will pervert your perspective and paralyze your potential faster than almost any other emotion." If you don't understand that, read it again until you do. It makes perfect sense. You can sit around and wonder why this situation happened to you and put up walls or you can realize that this has happened to multiple people and its just a part of life. Life is full of emotions. If we didn't feel more than one, we wouldn't be living. We'd just be surviving.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Let It Go
Just so I dont get into trouble for plagiarism, this was NOT written by me. It was written by T.D. Jakes, who was chief pastor at The Potter's House. Now whether you're religious or not, this is a powerful read. If you don't believe, just take out the God parts and the message will still come through.
_____________________________________________________________
Let It Go - T.D. Jakes
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this. When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, he'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to LET IT GO
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...LET IT GO
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO
If someone has angered you ...LET IT GO
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET IT GO
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET IT GO
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ...LET IT GO
If you have a bad attitude... LET IT GO
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET IT GO
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him... LET IT GO
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET IT GO
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ... LET IT GO
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO
So whether or you're a believer or not, bottom line is - Learn to say goodbye and let go of the things in your life that do not move you forward and do not better you as a person. Love and happiness is achievable if you can let go of the bad and let in the good.
_____________________________________________________________
Let It Go - T.D. Jakes
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this. When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, he'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to LET IT GO
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...LET IT GO
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO
If someone has angered you ...LET IT GO
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET IT GO
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET IT GO
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ...LET IT GO
If you have a bad attitude... LET IT GO
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET IT GO
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him... LET IT GO
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET IT GO
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ... LET IT GO
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO
So whether or you're a believer or not, bottom line is - Learn to say goodbye and let go of the things in your life that do not move you forward and do not better you as a person. Love and happiness is achievable if you can let go of the bad and let in the good.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Pay It Forward
So as some of you may know, I have a big place in my heart for those less fortunate. I always feel like I am no more than 2 steps away from possibly being one of "those people" on any given day. I'm also the girl that cries during the Feed The Children and SPCA commercials, wishes I could adopt every neglected and abused child and just basically do something to change the world. But, in a way, I think I am.
My mother grew up homeless. Her father was an alcoholic and could not keep a job. She has told me stories of growing up in abandoned buildings/bars and how they struggled to eat and stay warm everyday. Luckily, she was able to break the cycle and escape the lifestyle. But knowing that my own mother was homeless, makes me want to help others break the cycle.
Through my boss, I found an organization called OurCalling.org. I met with the guy that actually started the organization one on one. Each Wednesday, they do what is called a Search and Rescue. They walk the streets of South Dallas and seek out the homeless. They give them food, hygiene products and pray with them. Some of the stories he told me of people he has encountered and what they go through are horrific. It's insane that these things are going on 30 minutes from my house. Women on the streets giving up there body for $3 to pay for their addiction (actual lines forming behind a liquor store with a cardboard sign that says $3 as men take their turn), homeless men raping homeless women daily, the violence, the hopelessness, the feeling of being trash because they live by it. Did you know there are 30,000 homeless in Dallas and the shelters only hold 1800 beds? They have no other choice but to live under bridges and overpasses.
So after speaking to him, I was more than excited to embark on one of the most intense service projects I have ever done. We hit the streets around 9 am. I rode in a van with a few other homeless guys that were in the process of turning their lives around. They told me their stories. Most of them had started using drugs, gotten arrested, and the felony on their record has prevented them from any type of employment with the way the job market is right now. I met one lady that owned her own company, lost her job, got evicted, car was repossessed, became homeless and now she can't get an apartment or a car due to her credit so she has been homeless for over 8 months. No family to turn to doesn't help either.
Once we got to some of the bridges and the streets of South Dallas, we hopped out of the car, grabbed some bags of food and just started walking. It was amazing. People just came out of no where. They recognized the OurCalling van and walked up to us. Some were sleeping on couches in the middle of fields, in refrigerator boxes under bridges, bus stop benches...it was surreal. This is really going on 30 minutes from my house. We actually went to a real "crack house." There we about 10 individuals inside an abandoned house, sitting on the ground, smoking dope and shooting up. We had to send a guy in there to tell them we were here so they would come out because it was too dangerous for us to go inside. Across the street, was what one of the guys referred to as a "dope yard." It's an open wooded area where several homeless gather and just get high all day, and then they sleep there at night.
Now some of you are thinking in your head right now that these people need to just get off the drugs, go to a shelter, shower, fill out some applications and find a job, right? I thought that way too. We have all said, "I see NOW HIRING signs at gas stations, McDonalds, etc." Well, if it were that easy, there wouldn't be 30,000 homeless in Dallas. Having a felony on your record can almost immediately eliminate you from consideration of a any job with the unemployment rate at 9.8%. McDonalds will not hire you if you have a felony. How do you fill out an application with no permanent residence or a phone number for them to contact you at for an interview? A drug addiction is not something someone can break without help, and sometimes it takes medical help to truly overcome it. How many homeless people do you know with a healthcare plan? There is not enough room in the shelters for these people to go to. 30,000 homeless and 1800 beds in Dallas shelters. Where do the other 28, 200 stay at night?
So what do we do? How do we change this? We pay it forward.
Here's my "I'm just a normal person that cares" answer: Obviously, we need more organizations and more funding to help people get out of bad situations. I know OurCalling is always in desperate need of funding to help out with feeding the homeless, giving them hygiene products, providing them with life skills classes, etc. You may not have the monetary means to help in these situations, but you can definitely help join forces and contribute to make an impact. Companies can make charitable donations - its a HUGE tax write off. Why wouldn't they? Have you ever asked your company to help an organization within your community? Look at it this way - Your company profits from the community, therefore they should give back as well. That's my company's stand point, and its one of the few things I love about my job.
From my standpoint, it all starts from within. Once you can make that homeless person, that has to sleep by trash at night not feel like trash, they will become motivated...and do whatever it takes to get out of the cycle. Motivation is what makes us all do what we do. My child motivates me to be a better person, to go to work everyday, to pursue my goals so I can provide him with a better life. You can be that motivator for a homeless person. I know for some of the people that I have dealt with personally, all it took was someone to listen to them, to pray with them and to give them that little push.
There are a lot of prideful homeless people that do not want to reach out to family and ask for help. Let me tell you something - Pride is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. It can kill you, and it will. Who gives a flying eff about pride when you are freezing to death under a bridge and your stomach is growling because you haven't eaten in 4 days? I have a lot of pride too, but I also realize that sometimes I need help and that's where family and friends come into play. So for 50% of the homeless I meet, I do not preach to them about about God (although I do pray with them and continue to after I have met them). I talk to them, see if they have any type of family or friends that can help. Some say yes, but they don't want them to know that they are homeless or they're embarrassed, or they know that their family wouldn't care anyway. That's when I pull out my cell phone and put it in there face and say -"So the next call you want your mother/children/siblings to receive is that you were found dead under a bridge? Let's call them right now." Sometimes it works, and sometimes its doesn't. I will never stop trying though.
The one thing I wish people would understand is - The homeless are just like you and me. Some of them may have even been better off than you or I at some point and due to unfortunate circumstances, fell into this lifestyle. Don't be afraid to shake their hand or start a conversation. Human contact is so important for the soul. I'm not a touchy person, but I always shake their hand, introduce myself, put my hand on their shoulder while talking to them and hug them when I say goodbye. And 99% of the time, I remember their name. I have seen several of them on different occasions and they are shocked when I walk up to them and say "Hey Jimmy!" When they ask how I remembered their name, I tell them - "Because you made an impact on my life."
Finally, I know its the holidays and people feel a greater urge to give, but people need help year round. Don't forget how fortunate you truly are. If you are able to read this blog, you probably have internet access, clothing, and a warm place to be. That's more than 30,000 other people in Dallas have right now.
Everyday that you wake up, you have an opportunity to make a difference. So pay it forward.
My mother grew up homeless. Her father was an alcoholic and could not keep a job. She has told me stories of growing up in abandoned buildings/bars and how they struggled to eat and stay warm everyday. Luckily, she was able to break the cycle and escape the lifestyle. But knowing that my own mother was homeless, makes me want to help others break the cycle.
Through my boss, I found an organization called OurCalling.org. I met with the guy that actually started the organization one on one. Each Wednesday, they do what is called a Search and Rescue. They walk the streets of South Dallas and seek out the homeless. They give them food, hygiene products and pray with them. Some of the stories he told me of people he has encountered and what they go through are horrific. It's insane that these things are going on 30 minutes from my house. Women on the streets giving up there body for $3 to pay for their addiction (actual lines forming behind a liquor store with a cardboard sign that says $3 as men take their turn), homeless men raping homeless women daily, the violence, the hopelessness, the feeling of being trash because they live by it. Did you know there are 30,000 homeless in Dallas and the shelters only hold 1800 beds? They have no other choice but to live under bridges and overpasses.
So after speaking to him, I was more than excited to embark on one of the most intense service projects I have ever done. We hit the streets around 9 am. I rode in a van with a few other homeless guys that were in the process of turning their lives around. They told me their stories. Most of them had started using drugs, gotten arrested, and the felony on their record has prevented them from any type of employment with the way the job market is right now. I met one lady that owned her own company, lost her job, got evicted, car was repossessed, became homeless and now she can't get an apartment or a car due to her credit so she has been homeless for over 8 months. No family to turn to doesn't help either.
Once we got to some of the bridges and the streets of South Dallas, we hopped out of the car, grabbed some bags of food and just started walking. It was amazing. People just came out of no where. They recognized the OurCalling van and walked up to us. Some were sleeping on couches in the middle of fields, in refrigerator boxes under bridges, bus stop benches...it was surreal. This is really going on 30 minutes from my house. We actually went to a real "crack house." There we about 10 individuals inside an abandoned house, sitting on the ground, smoking dope and shooting up. We had to send a guy in there to tell them we were here so they would come out because it was too dangerous for us to go inside. Across the street, was what one of the guys referred to as a "dope yard." It's an open wooded area where several homeless gather and just get high all day, and then they sleep there at night.
Now some of you are thinking in your head right now that these people need to just get off the drugs, go to a shelter, shower, fill out some applications and find a job, right? I thought that way too. We have all said, "I see NOW HIRING signs at gas stations, McDonalds, etc." Well, if it were that easy, there wouldn't be 30,000 homeless in Dallas. Having a felony on your record can almost immediately eliminate you from consideration of a any job with the unemployment rate at 9.8%. McDonalds will not hire you if you have a felony. How do you fill out an application with no permanent residence or a phone number for them to contact you at for an interview? A drug addiction is not something someone can break without help, and sometimes it takes medical help to truly overcome it. How many homeless people do you know with a healthcare plan? There is not enough room in the shelters for these people to go to. 30,000 homeless and 1800 beds in Dallas shelters. Where do the other 28, 200 stay at night?
So what do we do? How do we change this? We pay it forward.
Here's my "I'm just a normal person that cares" answer: Obviously, we need more organizations and more funding to help people get out of bad situations. I know OurCalling is always in desperate need of funding to help out with feeding the homeless, giving them hygiene products, providing them with life skills classes, etc. You may not have the monetary means to help in these situations, but you can definitely help join forces and contribute to make an impact. Companies can make charitable donations - its a HUGE tax write off. Why wouldn't they? Have you ever asked your company to help an organization within your community? Look at it this way - Your company profits from the community, therefore they should give back as well. That's my company's stand point, and its one of the few things I love about my job.
From my standpoint, it all starts from within. Once you can make that homeless person, that has to sleep by trash at night not feel like trash, they will become motivated...and do whatever it takes to get out of the cycle. Motivation is what makes us all do what we do. My child motivates me to be a better person, to go to work everyday, to pursue my goals so I can provide him with a better life. You can be that motivator for a homeless person. I know for some of the people that I have dealt with personally, all it took was someone to listen to them, to pray with them and to give them that little push.
There are a lot of prideful homeless people that do not want to reach out to family and ask for help. Let me tell you something - Pride is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. It can kill you, and it will. Who gives a flying eff about pride when you are freezing to death under a bridge and your stomach is growling because you haven't eaten in 4 days? I have a lot of pride too, but I also realize that sometimes I need help and that's where family and friends come into play. So for 50% of the homeless I meet, I do not preach to them about about God (although I do pray with them and continue to after I have met them). I talk to them, see if they have any type of family or friends that can help. Some say yes, but they don't want them to know that they are homeless or they're embarrassed, or they know that their family wouldn't care anyway. That's when I pull out my cell phone and put it in there face and say -"So the next call you want your mother/children/siblings to receive is that you were found dead under a bridge? Let's call them right now." Sometimes it works, and sometimes its doesn't. I will never stop trying though.
The one thing I wish people would understand is - The homeless are just like you and me. Some of them may have even been better off than you or I at some point and due to unfortunate circumstances, fell into this lifestyle. Don't be afraid to shake their hand or start a conversation. Human contact is so important for the soul. I'm not a touchy person, but I always shake their hand, introduce myself, put my hand on their shoulder while talking to them and hug them when I say goodbye. And 99% of the time, I remember their name. I have seen several of them on different occasions and they are shocked when I walk up to them and say "Hey Jimmy!" When they ask how I remembered their name, I tell them - "Because you made an impact on my life."
Finally, I know its the holidays and people feel a greater urge to give, but people need help year round. Don't forget how fortunate you truly are. If you are able to read this blog, you probably have internet access, clothing, and a warm place to be. That's more than 30,000 other people in Dallas have right now.
Everyday that you wake up, you have an opportunity to make a difference. So pay it forward.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)