The Plan

Are there days where you just kinda reflect on your life, where you are, what you've accomplished and said - "This is not where I thought I would be."  I think I've had this conversation with a good friend of mine several times.  Did you have it all planned out in high school like I did- the cool career, the sports car, the huge house, the loving spouse, a few kids, a dog, fun family vacations, etc?  Does anyone ever actually live out the plan they made for themselves when they were a teenager?

Well, I didn't.  I'm no where close to where I thought I would be.  I'm 34.  I've never been married.  I'm not a huge corporate executive at a top 10 magazine or ad agency. I don't live on the coast and I drive an Altima.  So, what have I accomplished?  Well, let's see...


I'm a parent-
I am a single 34 year old mom who has raised an amazing young man.  I wasn't planning on ever even having a child, but I did and he saved me....he saved me from a life that some may actually see as enjoyable.  Going out and partying, living it up, drinking, traveling often...yea, that's great, but it leaves you empty.  The buzz wears off, you come home after an amazing trip...and then what? I did my time at the clubs, the bars, going out 4 nights a week, wild and spontaneous trips.  It was fun...don't get me wrong.  It still is every now and again.  But accomplishment will always triumph fun for me.  I can't say that there was ever a time where I look back and say I wish I had that life again.  Raising a child could be one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences ever and I was blessed with the opportunity.  I am responsible for another person's life.  I get to see him learn something new everyday.  I have the power to make him everything he is capable of.

I have a career that suits me-
When I was in high school, I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then, I wanted to be an editor for a magazine.  Then I wanted to be an actor on SNL.  During one semester in college, I decided I wanted to be a computer programmer...pssshhhh.  But now, I have a career that allows me to do what I love the most.  Ten years of HR was a beating, but my boss saw something in me that I didn't and is taking a chance on me.  And for that, I am truly thankful.  Finding a boss that believes in you is not an easy task. I have found my niche and a company that believes in giving back to the community, just like I do. No complaints in the job department...although I could use a raise - cough cough.

Never been married-
Some may look at this as a bad thing.  I don't.  I see it as a perk for me. I didn't rush into a marriage for the wrong reasons.  I was with my son's father for 7 years.  Never married him.  Never wanted to.  Do I want to get married?  Sure.  If I don't, no big deal.  Marriage isn't a mandatory "to-do" for having a happy life. 

As far as the sports car, the big house and living on the coast...that's not a big deal to me anymore.  I'm only 34.  I got a LOT of living to do.  But as far as not "living out my plan," I'm glad I didn't.  I'm glad that I was guided in this direction, for my child, for the people that have come into my life, and to have another day to do the complete opposite of what I planned.  So if you're not living the life you planned, take a minute and reflect on all the things you have accomplished, embrace what you've done...and what you can do.  Plan B may not be so bad.

2010....2011

When I get on facebook and I see all the people posting - "So glad this year is over" or "Hoping next year is better than this year was," all I can do is shake my head.  It's the same every year.  Does everyone really have a BAD year every year or is that the only thing they focus on?  Newsflash -   December 31, 2010 will be the same as January 1, 2011 if you're attitude is still the same.

So why does the bad stuff shadow out all the good come December 31st?  It's a shame no one reflects on any of the good things that happened to them...or maybe they didn't realize it was a good thing.  Maybe the good things that happened to us aren't as impacting as the bad.  Maybe its time to change that.

I can't think of anything SUPER awesome that happened to me,  but some of the good things in 2010 for me were- I kept my job and had a consistent paycheck to pay my bills, my child was healthy besides a few colds here and there, my parents and siblings are alive and are still annoying and as entertaining as ever, I became involved in charity work that allowed me to do things I want to do full time but can't, I met a lot of new people that are now a part of my life - some have actually changed it for the better, and I lost 15 pounds - yay me! 


So if all you can do is look back on all the bad, try looking back on all the good.  You may have lost a friend or family member this year, you may have lost your job, you may have endured a broken heart...but the bottom line is - You're here, right now, today.  And there's a reason why you are here.  I can't tell you that reason, but why not try to figure it out yourself? And if you're one of those people that makes resolutions, here's a good one for you- do something you've never done before.  That's mine...and will be mine every year till I kick the bucket.

My "new year's wish" to all of you is that I hope each of you do something you've never done before within the next 12 months... and to have a positive attitude along the way.